Confession #3 - I Need To Be Needed

Remember when you asked me to pray for your hair stylist’s sister’s kid?

Well, I confess, I didn’t.

“Why?” you ask. Well, to put it simply, I didn’t care. I know that seems crass, but it’s true. I think the real question we need to ask is, why don’t you pray for them? Why do you feel God would be more likely to hear and answer my pleas over yours? I don’t know these people; you do. I didn’t hear their heartbreaking tales; you did. If you were the one moved to pray, then you are the one who should be praying. But I could never tell you that, because then you wouldn’t need me, right? And I need to be needed. So I tell you I will pray and offer you a peace that your pastor, the one you feel is closer to God, will take a moment to pray for your hair stylist’s sister’s… wait, who was it again? 

It happens all the time. People enter my office, collapse in the seat in front of me, and begin to bombard me with life questions. Many are concerned about whom they should marry, where they should go to school, and what they should do about unbelieving co-workers or spouses. While the questions and life circumstances vary, everyone comes in the hope that I can lead them in a direction toward peace. Therefore, I make those life decisions for others, offering answers where I have no right, and watch as the fear leaves their faces, shoulders begin to square, and foreheads smooth as they begin to understand someone has a plan. As their breathing begins to calm, mine begins to labor with the knowledge of how much people need me and, even worse, how much I like it. I now have a choice to make. Do I continue to walk down the road of being needed, knowing, as I have watched so many go before me, that this choice only ends with me being drunk with power, abusing others as they foolishly try to live their lives out from under my authority?

Mwah ha ha ha! 

Or, do I lead you to the one who really has all the answers for your life and would be much better suited in a position of authority? I should teach you to be dependent on the Holy Spirit. He’s the one who has been sent to guide and counsel you. I have no power of my own to do those things. I can offer wisdom from my own life and trials, but you will need to walk your own life knowing God is the one who knows your heart and what you need because He knows and loves you.

Had I been a better pastor, I wouldn’t have answered any question for you; instead, I would have told you, “I don’t know what you should do with your life, but I know who does. And if you take the time to be with God, God will show you.” We would have opened the Bible together, and I would have offered you stories of when I was at my lowest and how God spoke to me. Maybe not audibly, but through the Bible, nature, a book, or a silly movie. He speaks to all of us in our own way, and the key is to try to hear Him. I would have told you that He will speak to you if you are willing to listen, because we are equals in God’s eyes. He hears you just as well as He will hear me.

There is something intoxicating about being needed, and instead of pointing you to God, I pointed you to me. Jesus warns of leaders like me when he talks of the rabbis in Matthew 23. Rabbis were needed, and just like many of today’s leaders, they enjoyed being needed. They strutted around, doling out advice and fixing petty problems. People asked them all sorts of things, both spiritual and practical, hoping the rabbi they chose would tell them what they wanted to hear. Jesus was considered a rabbi, and you can see in scripture some of the questions He was asked were both to test Him and to gain clarity.

Jesus was asked:

“What do I have to do to have eternal life?”

“Which commandment is the most important?”

“Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”

“How often should I forgive someone who sins against me?”

And he answered all of them, in one way or another. 

Ultimately, a rabbi would choose someone from his loyal band of followers to succeed him in teaching. Once trained, these men would then become rabbis themselves and carry on the tradition, going out on their own, answering questions, and gaining followers. Jesus was different. He trained his disciples, but then asked them not to allow others to call them “Rabbi.” 

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others. “But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” - Matthew 23:1-12 NIV

Frustrated with the current customs, Jesus tells his followers not to be like rabbis, not to let anyone call them a rabbi, and to never forget they are all equal under one teacher. Later, Jesus will leave this world but leave behind His Spirit. It is this teacher we are to follow. It was Jesus’ hope that all of us would come to know the Holy Spirit as our rabbi.